03 January 2005

Currency: Coins vs Paper

I dont know why so many people seem to want to abolish the penny. They absurdly claim that since you cant actually purchase anything with it, its value is "meaningless", and on top of the time, energy, and resources needed for them, they are nothing more than bulk weight and an unnecessary complication in peoples lives. some jerks even go so far as to throw every penny they get on the street! how dare they. These are usually the sellout freaks that usually push for such idiotic things as the dollar (or...gasp...even $2 or $5 coin), adoption of that overly complicated Celsuis temperature system, and even that hellish of all things...the METRIC SYSTEM.

Why not go in the other direction. Perhaps we should reintroduce the half-penny coin. And while we're at it, why not create an entirely new set of coins, like the 1/10th and 1/100th of a penny. Just think of how grand life would be if we would have our god-given American freedom to carry around hundreds of 1/100th of a penny coins in our pockets at all times. And the pure delight of sorting through all the coins, finding the right change. what could be better for a practical use of that math they force us to learn.

On top of that, how about abolishing the quarter and dime coins, making them paper notes instead? Doesnt that make sense? Just think about how wonderful it would be to pay 19.9787 for something with a ten, five, 5-one, 3-quarter, and 2-dime notes, along with 2 pennies, 1-half penny, 3-tenth pennies, and 7-hundredth of a penny coins. Simple as pie. What are those eggheads thinking when they argue we should simply round everything. What fun would it be to simply pay for that same material possession that will so fulfill our lives with a mere $20 bill?